Emotion Coaching the Gottman Way: Raising Happier Kids

john gottman emotion coaching

John Gottman Emotion Coaching Guide | Mr. Therapist

The Science Behind Emotion Coaching: A Game-Changer for Parents

John Gottman emotion coaching is a research-based parenting approach that helps children understand and manage their emotions effectively. Rather than dismissing or disapproving of children’s feelings, this method teaches parents to validate emotions while guiding appropriate behavior.

What is John Gottman Emotion Coaching?

Emotion coaching is a 5-step approach developed by Dr. John Gottman based on over two decades of research with more than 120 families:

  1. Be aware of your child’s emotions
  2. Recognize emotional moments as opportunities for connection and teaching
  3. Listen with empathy and validate feelings
  4. Help your child label emotions with words
  5. Set limits while problem-solving together

Emotion coaching treats feelings as teachable moments rather than problems to be fixed. Dr. Gottman’s research found that children whose parents use emotion coaching:

  • Are more self-confident
  • Perform better academically and socially
  • Experience better physical health
  • Show greater emotional regulation
  • Are more resilient during challenges

Unlike other parenting approaches that focus primarily on behavior management, emotion coaching addresses the emotional source behind problematic behaviors, creating deeper connection and lasting change.

As Emmanuel Romero, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in John Gottman emotion coaching, I’ve witnessed how this approach transforms parent-child relationships and builds emotional intelligence in my clinical practice and work with families throughout California.

Five steps of John Gottman Emotion Coaching: 1. Be aware of emotions, 2. Recognize teaching opportunities, 3. Listen and validate, 4. Label emotions, 5. Set limits and problem-solve - john gottman emotion coaching infographic

John gottman emotion coaching terms to learn:
Emotion Coaching for Parents
emotion coaching handout for parents
emotion coaching phrases for parents

Understanding John Gottman Emotion Coaching

At Mr. Therapist, we’ve witnessed how John Gottman emotion coaching transforms family dynamics. But what exactly makes this approach so powerful for parents and children alike?

Dr. John Gottman, a pioneering psychologist and relationship researcher, developed emotion coaching after studying families for decades. His research revealed something fascinating: a parent’s relationship with emotions—what he termed “meta-emotion philosophy”—profoundly shapes a child’s development. Rather than seeing emotions as problems to fix or behaviors to control, Gottman recognized them as golden opportunities for connection and teaching.

The heart of John Gottman emotion coaching rests on a beautiful metaphor: emotions serve as our internal “GPS” navigating us through life. Just as we wouldn’t disconnect our car’s navigation system when driving in unfamiliar territory, we shouldn’t disconnect from our children’s emotional guidance systems as they steer their world.

Parenting Style Approach to Emotions Impact on Children
Dismissing Ignores, distracts from, or trivializes emotions Children learn emotions are invalid or unimportant
Disapproving Criticizes emotional expression, punishes feelings Children develop shame about emotions, hide feelings
Laissez-Faire Accepts emotions but provides no guidance Children struggle with emotional regulation and boundaries
Emotion Coaching Validates emotions while guiding behavior Children develop emotional intelligence and self-regulation

The Concept at a Glance – john gottman emotion coaching

John Gottman emotion coaching emerged in the 1990s through groundbreaking research. Gottman and his team studied over 120 families to uncover what distinguished emotionally healthy children from their peers. Their findy was illuminating: even more than IQ, a child’s emotional awareness and ability to handle feelings determine their success and happiness throughout life.

This research beautifully complemented Daniel Goleman’s work on emotional intelligence (EQ), which showed that EQ often predicts life success better than traditional intelligence measures. Gottman’s approach gave parents a practical roadmap for nurturing this crucial emotional intelligence in their children.

The beauty of emotion coaching lies in its perspective shift: emotions aren’t problems to manage but valuable teaching moments. When parents help children understand and steer their emotional landscape, they’re equipping them with essential life skills that serve them well beyond childhood.

How It Differs From Other Parenting Styles

What makes John Gottman emotion coaching stand out is its balanced approach to both emotional validation and behavioral guidance. Let’s explore how it differs from other common parenting approaches:

Dismissing parents often brush aside negative emotions with comments like “Don’t cry, it’s not a big deal” or “You’ll get over it.” Though well-intentioned, this approach subtly teaches children their feelings don’t matter. Children of dismissing parents often struggle to trust their emotional experiences.

Disapproving parents criticize emotional expression with phrases like “Stop being such a baby” or “Big boys don’t cry.” This approach plants seeds of shame around emotions, leading children to hide their feelings rather than process them healthily.

Laissez-faire parents accept emotions but provide minimal guidance. They might comfort an upset child but miss opportunities to set necessary boundaries or teach problem-solving skills. Without this guidance, children struggle to develop emotional regulation.

Emotion coaching parents validate feelings while maintaining appropriate behavioral boundaries. The key distinction: they accept all emotions as acceptable while teaching that not all behaviors are okay. This balanced approach helps children feel understood while learning self-control.

The magic of emotion coaching isn’t just in reacting to emotions—it’s in proactively building emotional skills through modeling, warmth, and consistent guidance. Parents who accept this approach demonstrate healthy emotional expression themselves, creating a safe space for children to experience their full range of feelings while learning to manage them effectively.

The Five Essential Steps of Emotion Coaching

parent helping child identify emotions - john gottman emotion coaching

What makes John Gottman emotion coaching so powerful is how it transforms emotional moments from challenges into opportunities for deeper connection. The beauty lies in its structure—five clear steps that any parent can learn and adapt to their family’s unique needs.

1. Be Aware of Emotions

Emotion coaching begins with something we often overlook—simply noticing feelings. This awareness extends both to your child’s emotional state and your own reactions. When my clients first practice this step, they’re often surprised by how much they’ve been missing.

Watch for those subtle physical signs—the clenched jaw, slumped shoulders, or fidgeting hands that signal emotional distress before words ever come into play. Your child’s voice might change in tone or volume, or their behavior might shift suddenly. These are all emotional weather forecasts, giving you valuable advance notice before the storm hits.

I often tell parents that their own emotional awareness is equally important. When you’re triggered by your child’s behavior, taking that brief pause to recognize “I’m feeling frustrated right now” creates the space needed for thoughtful response rather than knee-jerk reaction.

2. Recognize Emotional Moments as Opportunities

Meltdown in the grocery store that felt like the worst possible timing? In the emotion coaching framework, that’s actually a golden teaching moment. Rather than seeing emotional outbursts as inconveniences, we can reframe them as perfect opportunities to connect with our children when they need us most.

These emotional moments—whether during sibling conflicts, disappointments, or transitions—open doors to intimacy and learning that might otherwise stay closed. The parent who leans in during these challenging times rather than shutting down emotions builds trust that runs deep and lasts a lifetime.

As one parent in our practice shared, “Once I started seeing tantrums as chances to connect rather than behavior to eliminate, everything changed between me and my daughter.”

3. Listen with Empathy and Validate Feelings

This might be the most transformative step in John Gottman emotion coaching. When your child is upset, the goal isn’t to fix their problem immediately but to create a safe emotional space through your understanding presence.

Validation doesn’t mean you agree with everything they think or do—it simply acknowledges that their feelings make sense given their perspective. Saying “I understand you’re feeling frustrated right now” or “That would make me feel upset too” helps your child feel seen and heard in their emotional experience.

The magic of validation is that it actually helps emotions move through more quickly. When feelings are accepted rather than resisted, they naturally begin to shift and transform. As one dad in our practice put it, “It felt counterintuitive at first—I thought acknowledging anger would make it worse. Instead, my son calms down much faster when I validate how he feels.”

4. Help Your Child Label Emotions

Many children (and adults!) lack the vocabulary to express what they’re feeling. By helping them put words to emotions, you’re building their emotional literacy and actually helping calm their nervous system. There’s truth to the phrase “name it to tame it”—research shows that labeling emotions activates the thinking brain and reduces emotional reactivity.

Try using a gentle, wondering tone: “I wonder if you’re feeling disappointed?” This approach invites connection rather than forcing an interpretation. As your child’s emotional vocabulary expands beyond just “mad,” “sad,” and “happy,” they gain more nuanced understanding of their inner experience.

This labeling step works best when parents model it themselves: “I’m feeling frustrated that we’re running late” shows children that emotions are normal parts of human experience that can be named and managed.

5. Set Limits While Problem-Solving Together

The final step balances empathy with guidance. After validating feelings, emotion coaches set clear behavioral boundaries and engage children in finding solutions. This collaborative approach teaches problem-solving skills while maintaining necessary structure.

The key distinction here is between feelings (always acceptable) and behaviors (some unacceptable). We might say, “It’s completely okay to feel angry at your brother, but hitting isn’t okay. What else could you do when you feel that mad?”

By involving children in generating potential solutions, we empower them to develop critical thinking skills while respecting their autonomy. This focus on future behavior rather than dwelling on past mistakes keeps the conversation constructive and forward-looking.

The difference between emotion coaching and traditional discipline - john gottman emotion coaching infographic

Step-by-Step Scripts & Tools

In our work with families at Mr. Therapist, we find that concrete examples bring John Gottman emotion coaching to life. Imagine your child wasn’t invited to a friend’s party. Here’s how the five steps might unfold:

First, notice their downcast expression and quiet demeanor—that’s your awareness cue. Recognize this disappointment as an opportunity to connect rather than a problem to fix. Offer empathy: “It’s really disappointing when friends get together and you’re not included. I’ve felt that way too.” Help them label the complex emotions: “It sounds like you’re feeling hurt and maybe a little rejected.” Finally, move to problem-solving: “Those feelings are completely normal. What might help you feel better right now? Would you like to plan something special for us to do instead?”

For the child struggling with frustration over a difficult puzzle, the approach shifts slightly but follows the same framework. Notice their clenched fists and furrowed brow. Use this moment to connect. Validate their experience: “It’s so annoying when things don’t work the way we want them to.” Help them name the feeling: “You’re feeling angry because the pieces won’t fit together.” Then set limits while problem-solving: “It’s okay to feel angry, but throwing pieces isn’t okay. Would you like to take a break, or should we try to solve it together?”

Parents find additional support through tools like feeling charts, calm-down corners with sensory items, emotion thermometers to gauge intensity, and collaborative problem-solving worksheets. These resources help make emotion coaching concrete in daily family life.

For more detailed guidance and printable resources, check out our comprehensive Emotion Coaching for Parents guide.

Why Emotion Coaching Works: Benefits & Research

When I work with families at Mr. Therapist, parents often ask me: “Does this john gottman emotion coaching stuff actually work?” The answer is a resounding yes—and we have the research to prove it.

Dr. Gottman’s extensive studies revealed striking differences between children raised with emotion coaching and those who weren’t. These aren’t just temporary improvements but life-changing advantages that follow children into adulthood.

Children who receive emotion coaching develop remarkable self-regulation skills. They learn to calm themselves when upset instead of depending on others to manage their feelings. I’ve seen children transform from having regular meltdowns to being able to recognize and express their emotions appropriately—a skill many adults still struggle with!

The social benefits are equally impressive. In my practice, I’ve watched emotion-coached children build stronger friendships and steer conflicts with surprising maturity. They show greater empathy toward others, which creates a positive cycle of healthy relationships throughout their lives.

Academic performance also improves with emotion coaching. When children can manage their feelings effectively, they’re better able to focus in class, stick with challenging tasks, and participate in group learning. One mother told me her son’s teacher asked what had changed at home because his classroom engagement had improved so dramatically after implementing emotion coaching techniques.

Perhaps surprisingly, john gottman emotion coaching even affects physical health. Research shows these children experience fewer infectious illnesses. This makes sense when we consider how chronic stress suppresses immune function—by helping children process emotions healthily, we’re actually supporting their physical wellbeing too.

The most powerful benefit I’ve observed is increased resilience. Emotion-coached children bounce back from disappointments faster and approach challenges with confidence rather than avoidance. They develop an internal sense that they can handle difficult feelings—a belief that serves them throughout life.

The long-term impact is even more impressive. Gottman’s longitudinal research found that emotion-coached children were less likely to engage in high-risk behaviors as teenagers, including:

  • Violence and antisocial behavior
  • Substance abuse
  • Premature sexual activity
  • Suicidal ideation

One finding that particularly moves me is that emotion coaching can buffer children against the negative effects of parental divorce. Children of divorce who received emotion coaching showed better attentional skills and educational outcomes than those who didn’t—proof that how we help children process emotions during difficult times can make all the difference.

For families going through separation, this offers real hope. We can’t always shield children from life’s challenges, but we can equip them with the emotional tools to steer those challenges successfully.

Want to explore the research further? Visit the Gottman Institute’s research page for more detailed information. If you’re an educator interested in bringing these techniques to your classroom, check out Emotion Coaching – Introduction for School Staff.

The evidence is clear: john gottman emotion coaching doesn’t just feel good—it creates measurable, lasting positive outcomes for children that extend far beyond the early years.

Implementing Emotion Coaching in Daily Life

parent kneeling to talk with upset child - john gottman emotion coaching

Knowing the theory of John Gottman emotion coaching is just the beginning—the real magic happens when you bring these principles into your everyday family life. As we’ve seen with families throughout California, this approach transforms not just behavior but the entire parent-child relationship.

Recognizing Emotional Cues

The foundation of effective emotion coaching is spotting emotions early—before they escalate into meltdowns. Think of yourself as an emotion detective, looking for clues in your child’s:

Face: That slightly furrowed brow or quivering lip can tell you so much before words ever come out.

Body: Notice when shoulders hunch, fists clench, or your normally bouncy child becomes suddenly still.

Voice: Even subtle changes in tone, volume, or pace of speech signal emotional shifts worth addressing.

Behavior: Sudden withdrawal, unusual aggression, or excessive energy often indicate emotional processing happening beneath the surface.

The earlier you catch these signals, the more effective your coaching will be. With practice, you’ll develop an almost intuitive sense of your child’s emotional states—even when they can’t yet identify them themselves.

Validation Phrases That Work

Having ready-to-use validation phrases helps tremendously during emotional moments when our own thinking can become clouded. Simple statements like “I can see this is really hard for you” or “It makes sense that you’d feel that way” create immediate emotional safety.

The beauty of validation is that it costs nothing yet means everything to a child whose emotions feel overwhelming. When you say, “Your feelings are important to me,” you’re not just addressing the current situation—you’re building a foundation of emotional security that will benefit your child throughout life.

Validating doesn’t mean agreeing with inappropriate behavior or giving in to demands. It simply acknowledges the emotion as real and acceptable, which paradoxically often helps the emotion pass more quickly.

Setting Limits While Maintaining Connection

One common misconception about John Gottman emotion coaching is that it means letting children do whatever they want. Nothing could be further from the truth! Effective emotion coaches absolutely set clear, consistent boundaries—they just do so with empathy rather than punishment.

The secret is in the sequence: validate first, then limit. When you say, “I understand you’re angry about having to leave the playground, and it’s not okay to run away from me,” you’re teaching that feelings are acceptable while certain behaviors are not.

This approach maintains the emotional connection that children need to actually hear and process your guidance. Rather than creating power struggles, it fosters cooperation based on mutual respect.

Collaborative Problem-Solving

Once emotions have been validated and any necessary limits set, the final step is helping your child develop solutions. Instead of imposing your answers, try wondering together: “Hmm, you’re frustrated because your tower keeps falling. What could we try differently?”

This collaborative approach teaches critical thinking while honoring your child’s growing independence. Even very young children can participate in simple problem-solving, and the skills they develop will serve them throughout life.

The goal isn’t perfect solutions but the experience of working through challenges together. When children feel they’ve contributed to solving a problem, they’re more invested in the outcome and more confident in their abilities.

For more strategies on building emotional resilience in children, visit our guide on How to Build Emotional Resilience in a Child.

Real-Life Examples & Troubleshooting – john gottman emotion coaching

Let’s see how John Gottman emotion coaching works in those challenging moments all parents face:

Scenario 1: Tantrum at the Store
We’ve all been there—your child melts down in the checkout line because you won’t buy that toy. Rather than feeling embarrassed or rushing to quiet them, try:

“I see you really want that toy. It’s disappointing when we can’t have something we want right away.” (validation)

“You’re feeling frustrated and disappointed.” (labeling)

“We can’t buy it today, but let’s put it on your birthday wish list. Would you like to take a picture of it to remember?” (problem-solving)

This approach acknowledges the genuine disappointment while maintaining your boundary and offering a constructive alternative.

Scenario 2: Homework Frustration
When your child throws their pencil and declares, “I’m stupid! I can’t do this!” emotion coaching helps transform this moment of frustration into an opportunity for growth:

“Math problems can be really frustrating. I remember feeling that way too.” (validation)

“You’re feeling discouraged because this is challenging.” (labeling)

“It’s okay to feel frustrated with hard problems. Would it help to take a short break or try a different approach? Let’s break this down into smaller steps.” (problem-solving)

By addressing the emotion first, you create space for learning to happen.

Scenario 3: Sibling Conflict
When siblings fight over toys and one hits the other, emotion coaching helps both children learn from the experience:

“I can see you’re both really upset right now.” (validation)

“You’re feeling angry because you both want the same toy.” (labeling)

“It’s okay to feel angry, but hitting isn’t okay. Let’s figure out a fair way to share. What ideas do you have?” (limits and problem-solving)

This approach acknowledges both children’s feelings while clearly communicating behavioral expectations.

When Emotion Coaching Gets Challenging:

Sometimes children are too upset for reasoning. When emotions run high, focus first on connection and validation until they’re calm enough for problem-solving.

If your own emotions get triggered (and they will!), it’s perfectly okay to say, “I need a moment to calm down so I can listen better.” This models healthy emotional regulation.

Even in rushed moments, a quick “I see you’re disappointed, and that makes sense” can maintain your connection until you have time for a fuller conversation.

Above all, emotion coaching is a practice, not perfection. Each emotional moment, handled with empathy and guidance, builds your child’s emotional intelligence bit by bit—an investment that will serve them throughout life.

Beyond Parenting: Schools, Relationships & Self-Reflection

The beauty of John Gottman emotion coaching is that its principles work far beyond just parenting. At Mr. Therapist, we’ve seen these powerful techniques transform classrooms, adult relationships, and even our clients’ relationship with themselves.

Emotion Coaching in Schools

When teachers and school staff accept emotion coaching, something remarkable happens in their classrooms. Students begin to feel emotionally safe, which creates the foundation for both academic and social growth.

“When we implemented emotion coaching techniques in several San Clemente schools,” shares Manny Romero, “teachers reported fewer disruptions and more engaged students within just weeks.”

Research consistently shows that emotion-coached classrooms experience:

  • Significantly fewer behavioral problems and disruptions
  • Higher levels of student engagement with academic material
  • Reduced bullying and peer conflicts
  • Stronger, more trusting teacher-student bonds

Many California schools now incorporate these principles into their core behavioral support systems, recognizing that emotional intelligence deserves as much attention as traditional academics. Teachers find that taking just a moment to validate a student’s frustration before redirecting them can prevent an entire classroom disruption.

For educators interested in bringing these techniques to their schools, resources like Emotion Coaching – Introduction for School Staff provide excellent starting points.

Emotion Coaching in Adult Relationships

“I came to learn emotion coaching for my child,” one client told us, “but it saved my marriage too.”

The same five steps that work with children can transform how adults connect with each other. Partners who learn to validate emotions before jumping to problem-solving report feeling more understood and closer to each other. This approach helps couples steer:

Conflict resolution – When partners feel heard and validated, defensive walls come down naturally, making resolution possible.

Emotional intimacy – Sharing vulnerable feelings in a safe space creates profound connection.

Stress management – Validating a partner’s work stress or parenting frustrations helps them process and move forward.

Difficult conversations – Even topics like finances or in-laws become manageable when approached with emotional awareness.

At Mr. Therapist, we often teach couples these same emotion coaching steps, and many are surprised by how quickly their communication improves when they stop trying to “fix” each other’s feelings and start validating them instead.

Self-Reflection and Personal Growth

Perhaps the most challenging—and rewarding—aspect of emotion coaching is the self-awareness it demands. To effectively coach others’ emotions, we must first understand our own emotional landscape.

Many parents find their own emotional blind spots when they begin this work. As one father in our practice shared, “I realized I couldn’t validate my son’s anger because no one had ever validated mine.”

To deepen your self-awareness, consider reflecting on:

What messages about emotions did you receive growing up? Were certain feelings “not allowed” in your family?

Which emotions do you find most difficult to sit with—both in yourself and in others?

How do you typically respond when feeling emotionally flooded or overwhelmed?

What specific situations reliably trigger strong emotional reactions in you?

Many parents find that learning to emotion coach their children leads to profound personal healing. As they validate their children’s big feelings, they often learn—sometimes for the first time—to extend that same compassion to themselves.

For more information on how emotions can serve as powerful tools for healing across all relationships, explore our Emotion-Focused Therapy Approach.

family therapy session with emotion coaching - john gottman emotion coaching

Frequently Asked Questions about Emotion Coaching

What age should I start emotion coaching?

You might be surprised to learn that John Gottman emotion coaching can begin in those earliest moments with your baby. While your little one can’t tell you “I’m frustrated” yet, you’re still laying important groundwork when you:

“I see those big tears. You seem hungry, let’s get you fed,” you might say to your 4-month-old. This narration of feelings starts the emotional awareness journey.

Gottman’s research shows that around 10 months, when babies begin understanding language, they start benefiting from simple emotional labeling. By preschool age, children are ready for the full five-step process, though naturally in age-appropriate ways.

The beauty of emotion coaching is how it grows with your child. With teenagers, the approach becomes more nuanced but remains just as vital as they steer the complicated emotional landscape of adolescence. That eye-rolling 14-year-old needs validation just as much as your tearful toddler did.

How do I validate feelings without encouraging bad behavior?

“But if I acknowledge his anger, won’t he think hitting is okay?” This question comes up in almost every parent workshop I lead at Mr. Therapist. It touches on a crucial distinction: validating emotions is entirely different from approving behaviors.

When your child hits a sibling in anger, try this approach:

“I can see you’re really angry right now,” you might say, making eye contact and using a calm voice. “Being angry is completely okay, but hitting isn’t acceptable, even when we feel really mad. You can tell your sister you’re angry using words, or you could stomp your feet or squeeze this pillow instead.”

This response accomplishes something powerful: it teaches that all feelings deserve respect and acknowledgment, while certain actions cross important boundaries. Children gradually learn they can experience intense emotions without acting on them in harmful ways.

John Gottman emotion coaching helps children understand that emotions themselves aren’t the problem—it’s what we do with them that matters.

Can the 5-step method help teens who shut down emotionally?

“My teenager just grunts and goes to his room. How can I emotion coach a door?” Parents of teens often share this frustration, and I understand why. The good news is that John Gottman emotion coaching works wonderfully with teenagers—it just requires some strategic adjustments.

Teens may appear emotionally disconnected as a protective reflex, but beneath that exterior, they need emotional validation more than ever. When working with parents of teenagers, I recommend these adaptations:

Timing becomes everything with teens. That car ride home from practice might open a window that didn’t exist during dinner. Side-by-side activities—walking the dog, cooking together, or driving—often create safer spaces for emotional conversations than direct face-to-face interactions.

Keep your validations brief but meaningful. “That sounds really disappointing” might be enough in the moment. Respect their growing independence by offering support without forcing it. “I’m here if you want to talk more, but I understand if you need space.”

Most importantly, be patient and persistent. That seemingly unappreciated “I get that this feels overwhelming” plants seeds that matter, even when they don’t visibly take root immediately.

The fundamental principle remains unchanged: validate before problem-solving. With teenagers navigating identity formation and intense peer relationships, this emotional validation becomes even more essential, even if—and perhaps especially when—they appear to reject it.

Conclusion

John Gottman emotion coaching transforms how we understand parenting and emotional development. Instead of seeing children’s big feelings as inconvenient disruptions, this approach recognizes them as golden opportunities to connect more deeply with our children and teach essential life skills.

At Mr. Therapist, we see the impact of emotion coaching every day in our practice. Manny Romero founded our San Clemente-based therapy service with a vision of helping California families build stronger emotional foundations. We’ve watched as parents shift from frustration to connection, and children develop remarkable emotional resilience that serves them well into adulthood.

The beauty of the five-step approach—becoming aware of emotions, recognizing teaching moments, listening with empathy, helping children label feelings, and setting limits while problem-solving—is that it works in virtually any situation. Whether you’re dealing with a toddler’s tantrum or a teenager’s silent treatment, these principles create pathways to understanding and growth.

What makes this approach so powerful is the research behind it. Dr. Gottman’s studies consistently show that emotion-coached children develop advantages that last a lifetime:

They manage stress more effectively, form healthier relationships, excel academically, maintain better physical health, and approach life’s inevitable challenges with confidence and resilience. These aren’t just short-term behavioral improvements—they’re fundamental life skills.

We often hear from parents that learning to emotion coach their children has unexpectedly healed something in themselves. Many adults grew up in homes where certain emotions weren’t welcome or acknowledged. Learning to validate their children’s feelings often helps parents finally validate their own emotional experiences.

If you’re interested in bringing John Gottman emotion coaching into your family, perfection isn’t the goal. Even implementing these principles part of the time makes a significant difference. Start small, be patient with yourself, and watch for the subtle shifts in your relationship with your child.

For personalized guidance on implementing emotion coaching in your unique family situation, our team at Mr. Therapist is here to help. We offer both in-person and telehealth services throughout California, custom to your family’s specific needs and challenges.

For more comprehensive resources and support, visit our detailed guide on Emotion Coaching for Parents.

Emotion coaching isn’t just another parenting technique—it’s an investment in your child’s emotional wellbeing that pays dividends throughout their life. And perhaps the greatest reward is the deep, authentic connection it creates between parent and child—the kind of connection that makes the parenting journey, challenges and all, truly worthwhile.

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